Soapz does Zen

Goodbye

2006-11-29T18:34:00.000+08:00

I am going to retire this blog. Although this one's always been my preferred blog (maybe its the white background?), I'm going to ditch it in favour of my "Game of life" blog.

Also, me and my buddy have made a "random shit" blog at http://burningstickmen.blog.com/

This thing'll still be up (I originally made this blog to keep track of my thoughts, so I still wanna come back and read my posts). Anyways, I hope to see you at my other blogs!

- Soapz

The three Gems of Buddhism

2006-11-18T14:12:00.000+08:00

I've recently been studying a few buddhist texts and materials, and have come to my own conclusion that buddhism can be summed up in these three main keys:

Love and Compassion for all sentient beings
Many people are confused with the meaning of "love" as it has many interpretations in different contexts. But in buddhism, love simply means the "deep desire for others to be happy." It is easy to love ourselves, easy to love our closest relatives and friends, but can you love a stranger? Everyday, we walk through lives without really realising how many people are around us! I take the train everyday, and all the people I meet don't seem real to me. I feel like looking at phatoms, images, robots... how blind of me! These people have stories to tell, feelings to share and they aren't just homo sapiens standing around in a train, these are people! That is the difficulty of love. It is easy to love a charming, good looking person, but can you also wish for the happiness of a rude, smelly hobo? Widen the circle of love- everyone wants to be happy, and doesn't want suffering. Therefore, if you love them, you have provided them everything they want and need in their lives.

Mindfulness
Mindfulness means to be conscious of the present reality. Simply put, it means to be awake. When I look at the people in the train, I am not awake. I'm merely walking through life in a semi-drunken state. But if we do this, we miss out on the actual beauty of life! EVERYTHING we do can be beautiful if we are aware and awake. We must be grounded in the present moment- not the future, not the past- but now, because now is all we got. We can't be happy "later," because we can only smile when "later" becomes "now." Be aware of everything around and in you. Appreciate the beauty in the sky, truly take a breath and be aware of your breathing. When talking to your friend, do nothing but talk to your friend! Don't look at him and critique his hairstyle, or think about your groceries. Stay in the moment and enjoy it.

Understanding of Impermenance
Everything is impermenant. All things change and are transient. Things are built and destroyed, people are born and die, events come and go. Nothing stays the same. Therefore, when we crave or cling to things that are always moving, suffering is created. We have to understand and feel this on a deep level. When a flower whithers, we are not sad, because we understand that it is impermenant- it won't last forever. But when our loved ones whither away, our world is turned upside down. Why? Because we have an unconscious belief and desire that things stay the same- that our loved ones will live forever. Therefore, the way to estinguish suffering is simply to let go of craving and clinging. This doesn't mean to be indifferent to life, it simply means to go with the flow of the universe, and not resist it.

Getting out of your own way

2006-11-15T22:05:00.000+08:00

"If you want to accord with the Tao, Just do your job, then let go."

Too often do we do our job, but we never stop! We keep on doing, doing, doing, and we never take the second step- let go. The farmer ploughs the land, plants the seed, waters the soil, and lets go. He sits and wait.

Many times in my life have I ploughed my land, planted my seeds, but I failed to let them grow. I kept on meddling with it and poking it. What did I end up with? Wet seeds. For me, the greatest difficulty in life isn't the actual job itself, its getting out of my own way. Hardly ever in my life have I been thwarted by some external force or circumstance. Almost every time, it has been myself that has caused me to fall short of my goals. Be it self consciousness, insecurity, negative beliefs or simply lack of focus- all my "failures" can be traced back to my inability to "get out of my own way."

This is why I consider the greatest virtue of Life is the Mastery of yourself. COMPLETE mastery over yourself means you can think whatever you want to think, and feel whatever you want to feel.

Sounds far out? Not for me.

Look carefully

2006-11-07T21:45:00.000+08:00

When growing up, we take in beliefs and attitudes towards things from other people.

"Sex is dirty."
"Having a steady job is good."
"Smoking is bad."

Without really looking into them, we take these beliefs and make them our own. Perhaps if we were allowed to make our own decision about it, we would have different beliefs.

I know I certainly changed a lot of beliefs in this year. Smoking is bad for example. I still think its not exactly "good," but the stigma that was attached to it was way out of proportion to actual reality. In the end, its just a little roll of tabacco that feels good when smoked, causes lung cancer and costs $30HKD a pack. Thats reality- but why the heavy, negative stigma?!?! It's totally out of proportion!

You know what would be the best case scenario? We drop ALL judgement on all things. That would be the ideal for Taoists and Buddhists alike. But in reality, that is very hard to do. So what should we do instead? We should form our own judgements about things. Don't just accept the beliefs and viewpoints of society- form your own!

Make your own decision as to what you think and feel. That sounds reasonable doesn't it?

One

2006-11-01T12:52:00.000+08:00

We all have to be comfortable being alone. If we can't spend some good quality time with ourselves, how is it possible to spend quality time with others?

Don't feel you need to be constantly surrounded by people and socialising just so you can "be cool." I sometimes get the feeling that people go out not because they enjoy it, but because they don't want to be seen as loners or losers without friends. That is just plain sad. Heres what happens to the person who constantly needs to be socialising so they can pretend to be cool:

When they ARE socialising- they aren't enjoying it to the fullest, and they're constantly worrying about what others think of them. The small satisfaction from the ego boost doesn't feel "complete" and they can never get enough of it.
When they AREN'T socialising- they feel like a loser with no friends.

With a mindset like that, you can't win. So just drop it.

Enjoy everything- whether that means sitting in the corner with a smile on your face, or in middle of a crowd, laughing with buddies.

Chuang Tzu that Joker!

2006-10-28T23:42:00.000+08:00

Master Tung-kuo asked Chuang Tzu, "This thing called the Tao-where does it exist?"
Chuang Tzu said, "There's no place it doesn't exist."
"Come," said Master Tung-kuo, "you must be more specific!"
"It is in the ant."
"As low a thing as that?"
"It is in the grass."
"But that's lower still!"
"It is in the tiles and shards."
"How can it be so low?"
"It is in the piss and shit."

Haha, that made me laugh out loud. Good stuff.

p.s. found from section 22 of the "The Chuang Tzu."

The Way I see it

2006-10-26T20:14:00.000+08:00

I've recently started re-reading the Tao Te Ching, and other material related to Taoism. As I read, and start reflecting and feeling the world around me, I've come to a point of epiphany.

Fundamentally, we love everybody.

Now, "love" is just a word I use to describe the rapport, the connection, the....familial/spiritual bond we have with others.

What I'm saying is that at our deep, inner CORES, we love and connect with EVERYONE. We are all one big family.

So why is the world the way it is? Why does hatred, wars and indifference exist? The reason is because of external "layers" blocking the flow of connection between our cores. We put on fake persona's, we have stereotypes and prejudices, we have social stigma, etc.

Two magnets can be prevented from interacting and attracting each other by putting a lead plate in between them. Similarly, we have so many layers of shit in between our "core" that they can't reach out and connect with each other.

Our human "essence" is universally loved and loving. It is, for a lack of a better phrase, what and who we truly are. That is why language, at times, plays no role in connecting with someone. Language is just an external "tool" that can be used to connect two souls. But we have many other ways to do so also.

So then, if our cores are ultimately the "greatest connectors and lovers of the ages," what is the smart thing to do?

To REVEAL our cores. To put our essence out into the world and shine! We cannot force others into dropping the many layers surrounding their cores, but we can always lead by example! Live with an open heart and simply Be! Throw down your shields, take off your armour, and remove your mask. Embrace being naked and free!

The greatest obstacle

2006-10-21T21:21:00.000+08:00

You are your own greatest obstacle.

Your Limiting beliefs are the first hurdle you must jump before ANYTHING can be done.

How far you believe you can travel plays a large part in determining the distance you actually go.

My realms of "possibility" were just shattered recently. I now believe pretty much ANYTHING is possible, as long as I'm willing to pay the price for it.

Oh, and if you BELIEVE the price will be reasonable, then the universe will naturally charge you reasonably. But if you believe that something will be outrageously expensive, the universe will match your expectations and charge you accordingly.

Contentment

2006-10-15T18:06:00.001+08:00

Both Mr. A and Mr. B had the exact same events happen to them during the day...

They both woke up, and found a 100 dollar note on the floor. Mister A smiled; Mister B jumped up in ecstacy.

Then, while in the bathroom, they realised they ran out of toothpaste. Mister A cursed under his breath; Mister B chewed on a piece of gum instead.

While driving to work, they encountered absolutely no traffic (its usually very congested at this time of the day!). Mister A began to wonder what he can do with his extra time (breakfast perhaps?). Mister B smiled a broad smile and started giving gratitude for this smooth journey.

But then...disaster struck! A wild hooligan of a driver scraped their cars and drove off!!!Mister A went into a fit of crazy screaming; Mister B looked at his dented car, but realised there was nothing he can do about it (the hooligan drove off at 200 km/h!)

I could go on, but I think you get the idea. The things that happen to us can be the same. But a positive mental attitude can shift our entire "happiness curve" upwards so that we experience much more joyful moments than sad ones. In fact, if we manage to shift it up SO high, we can experience happiness 100% of the time (even if we were thrown into jail, and locked for life) simply because our mindset is one of contentment and joy.

Musings: focus on the positive

2006-10-14T20:43:00.000+08:00

"Focus on the positive."

Always having a Positive Mental Attitude- that is the cornerstone of my philosphy. And yet, sometimes, I find myself going into intellectual arguements with myself about the validity of that statement. After all, it seems kind of naive and ignorant to focus ONLY on the positive, right?

It depends.

For example, our friend Bob is in a rocky relationship with his wife. He frequently engages in heated arguments that usually end with the "silent treatment." About a week or two later, they slowly slide back into normalcy, before the cycle starts all over again....

Now, what can our pal Bob do? If he hears the advice "focus only on the positive," he can interpret it in two ways.

He can either totally ignore the problem and turn a blind eye to it. We can all guess at what will happen after a while with this method- an argument so heated and messy that it leads to a divorce.

Or, he can acknowledge the problem- admit that he frequently gets into arguments. But he doesn't DWELL on this, no. He focuses only on the positive which means instead of trying to remove arguments, he focuses on creating peace. On the surface, it may seem like two identical thiings, but in fact, they are worlds apart. We cannot decide what we are against, only what we are for.

Mother Theresa herself declined joining an "Anti-war" protest, but she politely said she'll join a "Pro-peace" rally if they ever decided to have one.

Thus, focusing on the positive doesn't mean Ignoring the ugly- that would just be plain ignorant.

Instead, focusing on the positive means acknowledging the negative, but not putting energy into it. Merely look at it, decide how you want to change it, and work TOWARDS the change that you want to see. Focus on the POSITIVE RESULT THAT YOU DESIRE.

Your spiritual warning system

2006-10-14T16:38:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't it be great if we had some kind of detection system to warn us of the dangers ahead? That way, we can prepare, or even prevent it from happening! Life would be a lot easier wouldn't it...

Well, luckily for us, there is such a warning system. It's called our emotions.

When your behaviour, thoughts, or actions are beginning to lead you into trouble, your negative emotions fire up. You start to feel angry, or jealous, or depressed, or any of the emotions that don't feel good. When you feel these negative emotions, your warning system has done its job- its now up to you whether you do anything about the dangers ahead.

Feelings stem from thoughts- thus, when you feel shit, it means your thoughts are shit. And we all know shitty thoughts will lead to a shitty life.

So the next time you feel an emotion that feels "bad," remember- its your warning system flashing a signal to you:

"Hey! Your thoughts are leading you into trouble! Change em' now or danger will come!"

Keep on changing your thoughts until the negative emotions vanish, and is replaced by an emotion that feels good.

It really is that simple.

What are you motivated by?

2006-10-10T20:38:00.000+08:00

Do you work hard to avoid pain, or do you strive to achieve pleasure?

Do you run away from the negative, or run towards the positive?

Do you stay silent in the corner to avoid rejection, or go for it and ask her out for a date?

Do you save you hard earned money in the bank, or do you risk it in investment to gain more?

There is no right or wrong answer. There's no such thing as something for nothing. Everything has a price. The thing that matters most is- are you willing to pay?

Reality is an illusion

2006-10-08T17:30:00.000+08:00

Nothing is real. It's all in our heads. Think of all the things people believed so fervently in the past, and realise most of them have been shattered over the centuries. Anything from the earth being at the center of the universe, to the body exploding if it ran a mile under four minutes- its all been debunked.

We look back at our ancestors and laugh at how silly they were. "How COULD they believe the moon was cheese! Hahaha!" And yet, we believe we are immune to error and misjudgement. We believe that our knowledge, beliefs and our world is "real."

We believe we are somewhat superior to our uneducated ancestors. But what has changed? Have humans, at our cores, really changed? Nope. Evolution doesn't work THAT fast. In other words, if we were born 2000 years ago, we would have made the exact same mistakes in judgement as our ancestors.

Anything, absolutely anything you think is real could be proven wrong TOMMOROW.

As I move further on in my education, more and more am I realising how little we truly know. In my youth, I thought we had it all in a box. The scientists know what they are doing, the governments know how economies works, the people know how to live happy. Its a shame, but that is simply not true.

Psychologists have no idea how mental illnesses work and their profession is 90% guess work. Governments have no idea how the economy truly operates. They merely use "theoretical models" and pray for the best. Nutritionists don't even know whats good for us and whats not. Everyday, conflicting studies are published.

Now, I am not complaining about the ignorance of mankind. Honestly, I think errors will ALWAYS be made.

But think about something for a second- how do we judge if something is "real" or not? How do we gather information from the outside world? Our five senses.

Think about how important these five senses are given! EVERYTHING in our lives is picked up, filtered and recieved by these five sense. What would be the point of money, friends and flat screen TV's if we didn't have our 5 senses? We basically get these information packets from our senses and use our brains to piece together our picture of "reality."

Then, take a second to examine how easy it would be to DECIEVE our five sense? Optical illusions make idiots out of geniuses- it's the basis of Magic. Or have you ever been with a group of friends when a whiff of "Something" floats by. One person says its the smell of chicken, the other says its Fried Rice, the third says its frenchfries. It doesn't matter who's right because at least 2 people are WRONG. Their sense of smell has failed them.

And yet, we treat our view of reality as being the ultimate master plan of "what its REALLY like out there."

It ain't. It's wrong. It's very wrong. It would probably fail if it was administered a "reality check."

So what is the moral of the story? That humans are idiots? We should all commit suicide? Nay.

What I'm trying to say is "stop placing so much importance on outside things." When you realise that nothing in your image of "the outside world" is real, you stop placing so much importance onto things and events. You merely let them be. A zenlike inflience engulfs you.

Everything is just an interpretation of the mind. You may be happy by being rich, but you can also be happy by changing your interpretation of reality. Nothing on the "outside" is ever that important. As I type this, I truly am realising how flimsy things are. Two people can lead the exact same lives, with the exact same people, but the one with an extra "Zero" at the end of his account balance will feel happier than the one with one less zero. It matters no if that money never gets used- the richer man will probably feel happier.

We put so much effort into changing our surroundings. And how do surroundings affect us? Merely through our five senses.

But what about emotions, feelings and thoughts? Aren't those the thigns we are ULTIMATELY looking for? Yet they can only be truly affected by one thing, and one thing only. Our minds.

Thus, change your mind, and change reality.

Why do you care?

2006-10-06T21:10:00.000+08:00

Theres so many things in life that we care about. Our cars, celebrities, money.

But suprisingly, for many people, the thing they care MOST about isn't themselves- it's what other people think of them! Or to put it more accurately, what they THINK other people think of them.

We're always checking if people like us, if they approve of our fashion sense, if they appreciate our sense of humour. Why???

Why do we care so much about approval? Why are we desperate to fit in and be "liked?" Isn't it more important to give, than take?

Try a little experiment to see what I mean. Spend two days repeating "everyone loves me" in your head. It should be like a background music to your life- everyone loves me. Then, spend two days repeating "I love everyone!" again and again in your head throughout the day.

See which one feels better. See which one brings you greater joy and happiness.

I've personally conducted this experiment. And I can guarentee that the second option is much more gratifying. The funny thing is, the people who need this message the most will be the ones rejecting, ridiculing and generally dismissing these ideas. I agree, it may not make sense, it may sound counterintuitive, it may just sound plain STUPID. We can probably come up with a thousand reasons why this WON'T work. But try it, and watch those reasons evaporate.

Don't seek for approval. Don't strive to "be liked." Those things don't make sense. Seeking for these things will merely make them run farther away. And ultimately, they don't make you happy. Instead, seek to love- try and put a smile on a persons face. Truly make their lives better, and see how far you get!

Perspective

2006-10-04T21:41:00.000+08:00

The amount of importance we give something does not neccesarily show how important that thing REALLY is.

It seems that we pay more attention to the pimple on our face than the cancer on our ass.

Keep things in perspective. Make sure your focus of attention is on the right things. What are the "right" things? The things that give you, and those around you the greatest long term joy and happiness.

Scared about asking someone out to a date? Realise this- you aren't curing AIDS or changing the laws of the Universe. Keep things in perspective, it just ain't that big of a thing!

My ranting while in a state of pain

2006-10-01T16:23:00.000+08:00

We are emotional creatures- there is no doubt about it.

We often make decisions based on our FEELINGS and rationalise them with logic AFTER the deed has been done. Thats why we're all such hypocrites- our words come from our "reasoning," but reasoning holds only a tiny amount of power over us. Our ACTIONS come from our emotions, our feelings, and the vast unknown called the subconsicous.

And that is why I am such a hypocrite. The words on this blog say one thing, but my behaviour begs to differ.

"Experience only happiness! Sadness is a choice! Remove all negativity!" I say. But my life is far from the ideal that I preach. Granted, I have improved dramatically, and am probably happier than most around me, but I am still a long way off from where I want to be.

At times, things like fear and jealousy still hold their destructive powers over me. I still don't feel like I am "one person"- internal conflicts rage on day in and day out. In my mind, my list of "to-do's" grow lnoger and longer, and yet, I am still sitting on my ass day after day, doing nothing but get bored.

Do I have a solution for all this? On some level, I feel like I do- somewhere deep inside me, I feel some semblance of a cure, some undefined answer to my whinings. I'm just failing right now to figure out exactly what it is. *sigh*

Life will never be perfect- I've got to admit that. We can't always be 100% happy all the time. We can't be a "perfect person" with perfect manners and no negative emotions and feel totally "on" all the time.

But I guess we can always strive to be that person. But all the while, enjoying where we are at the present moment. Cuz "now is all we've got!"

We are in control of Ourselves

2006-09-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

"I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul."- Henle

Realise that we have the ultimate power over ourselves- we have the final say in when, how and what we think and feel. Many of us believe that we are a slave to our emotions. A fearful man is the best example of this.

Remember! Fear has no power over us apart from the power WE give it! We don't have to "listen" to our fears, we don't have to agree with our "jealousy's." Ultimately, we must believe in the powers of OURSELVES, and not our emotions. We can change our thoughts at will- and thoughts can change emotions at will.

Realise that YOU are infinitely more powerful than emotions- emotions are simply like the advisors to the King. They are powerful in the sense that they can influence the king; but powerless in that the king can always reject their advice, and send them off to the guillotine.

We always have a choice. A coward thinks that he is running away because he "has to." Wrong! No one HAS TO run away- it is simply a choice.

From today onwards- remove the hold that negative emotions and thoughts have over us. Realise that they have no "real" power. Only we do. Use it wisely.

Seemingly different?

2006-09-21T17:24:00.000+08:00

Zen. Relax. Let things flow. The law of least effort.

Success. Go the extra mile. Persist. Work hard.

How can we combine these two seemingly opposite philosophies? One is the zen method of slowness and seeming "laziness." On the other hand, success principles (as preached by Napoleon Hill among others) tell us to work hard, and get into the habit of "doing more than what we're paid for."

Dillema? Not really.

The trick is this- work hard. Always work hard. But using the Zen philosophies and mindset, we can transform "work" into "play!" In truth, we are not working at all, we are simply enjoying ourselves! But to the rest of the world, seeing the results that we gain, it merely LOOKS like work.

To my parents, it may LOOK like I'm working hard, revising for my exams. But to me, it isn't work at all. I am enjoying this, I am learning, and challenging myself. I'm going with the flow and I'm not resisting anything.

This is the perfect union of the two philosophies. And until I master this art, I will remain poor in spirit regardless of my outter successes.

Napoleon Hill teaches us which games to play. Zen teaches us how to enjoy the game.

Abundance!

2006-09-11T18:53:00.000+08:00

The World is abundant with...stuff! Its filled with happiness. Its full of love. Its exploding with resources!

This is the mindset of abundance. Truly feel that there is plenty of money in the world, and that theres plenty to go around, and guess what will happen? You will attract it into your life!

Theres no easier way to repel friends by having a "scarce" mindset.

"Oh no! These are the only friends I have! I'll NEVER make friends like these ever again! I better cling on to the friends I have like a koala!"

Same goes for money, girlfriends and even happiness.

Just relax, and truly believe that God has created a world rich enough to provide you with all the happiness, love and serenity that you'll ever need. And not only that, but he's provided enough happiness, love and serenity for EVERYONE in this world to enjoy. Just simply accept his gifts by having a mindset of abundance.

Lose five thousand dollars in the stock market? Doesn't matter! Plenty of fish in the sea- plenty of money for you and me! Remember that nothing is permenant- everything is just a cycle. You are just "lending" the five thousand dollars to another fellow human being. In time, it will be repaid back to you in forms you cannot imagine. Just wait for it!

The powers of Autosuggestion

2006-09-09T23:02:00.000+08:00

Autosuggestion implants seeds of of thought into our minds. These seeds of thought translate themselves into action. If repeated, these actions become habit.

And what are we but a slave to our habits? Thus, these habits form our character. And as a brilliant philospher once noted:

"Character is destiny."

What are you waiting? Start implanting positive, healthy, happy seeds!

Habit

2006-08-25T21:57:00.000+08:00

"A man is what he thinks about all day long"- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've always agreed with that quote. After all, our habits are a large part of us. And since thoughts affect feelings, behaviours and other thoughts, what we think all day long clearly has a very big impact on our lives and overall well being (Happiness).

A few days ago, I read the book "The Worlds Greatest Salesman" by Og Mandino. The book has 10 "scrolls," each scroll about a simple mindset or idea. Mastery of these nine scrolls will "transform" oneself into "The Worlds Greatest Salesman." But in order to be the GREATEST salesman, you must have an firm grasp not only on sales, but on "Life" on the whole. Which is basically what this book aims to do- improve ones life scroll by scroll, bit by bit.

The first scroll is actually very important- it teaches you how to use, learn, and apply the other 9 scrolls. Og suggests us to read the scrolls in order. Read one, and stick with it for an entire month before moving on to the next. Everyday, we are to read the scroll once in the morning, once during the afternoon, and once before bed. Why? To make it a habit. We must repeat it again and again so that its ideas are "what we think about all day long."

But I believe the purpose isn't just to think about these concepts, we must actually feel it. For example, the second scroll's message is "I will greet this day with Love in my Heart." We can repeat that again and again, day in day out, and yet, not Feel anything within our hearts. Remember, thoughts do nothing but create feelings. Thoughts are but a means to an end.

But the important thing is to do this repeatedly. Keep on thinking good thoughts, so good feelings are created, which is then turned into a habit.

Imagine that! Being happy as a Habit! We can't HELP but be in a state of Joy. People will ask "Why are you so eternally Happy?"

Your answer? "I can't help it!"

Changing others and ourselves

2006-08-25T21:02:00.000+08:00

"Love em' or Leave em."

Don't try to "Change" people. Advise them, guide them, enlighten them. But do not force or coerce them to change.

Only when the person truly WANTS to change can true transformation occur.

Don't try to "Change" people. Appeal to their desires and try to fan the fire in their hearts to create the true burning Passion to change. If it is that important to you that the other person changes, but they don't, then leave. Otherwise, learn to love them.

"Love me or Leave me."

It is inevitable that you will meet friends, bosses and lovers that want you to change. This is natural and to be expected.

But unless you truly want to make this change (ask your heart, it'll know), then don't do it. The only thing that will drive the you towards genuine transformation is the fire in your Belly.

If you want to change, but don't have enough "fire," then that is something you must learn to develop. Ask yourself how important this is to you. How much will your life change after this transformation? What is the price you must pay for success? What is the price of staying where you are?

Your desire must always be greater than your sacrifice. Otherwise, it will be guarenteed to fail midway.

But if you DON'T want to change, even if others do, then politely give them the choice- "Love me or Leave me." Note that you don't even need to say those words- just silently and truly expect that of people and it will show through your body, your voice, and through your actions.

Listen, always listen. But you don't have to follow. In the end, the choice of changing yourself is up to you. And the choice for others to "love you or leave you" is up to them.

Gym

2006-08-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

Everyone has a different reason for doing things. Some of these reasons are seen as "good," while others are seen as "wrong."

People go to the Gym for many reasons. Some go because their Friends or Girlfriends tell them to. Others go for health reasons. Some want to get big muscles to attract the ladies. The list goes on.

I'll admit, my original reason for Gym-ing was because I was sick of being the "small skinny dude." I wanted to get big!

Now, this reason is probably seen as "Bad" for the most part. Lack of self esteem, poor self image, etc.etc. But thats besides the point, cuz once I started actually GOING to the gym, my reasons changed.

Now, one of the BIGGEST reasons I go is because I enjoy it! There is nothing more satisfying than lifting heavy iron. The sense of Primal physicality is amazing. And the sore that I get in my muscles the day after is unbelieveable- I feel like I'm on top of the world!

Instead of going to the gym to "make others like me," its now going to the gym "cuz I like it."

In the end, I feel that "doing it cuz I like it" is the only *correct* reason for doing things. Every other reason will be detrimental to our self esteem and happiness. Many of us do things to please others. Having this motivation is natural, and its alright- as long as it isn't our MAIN motivation. Our main motivation should be to fulfill our core, and to make ourselves more joyful.
Sure, we can do community service, donate all our money, and be the most generous person on the planet. But in the end, if you do not enjoy the act, there is no point.

The solution is to stay in the Now. The Now should be the main reason to do things- because you enjoy the process, and not the results.

People aren't trying to Fuck you over

2006-08-21T00:21:00.000+08:00

(A post from http://mybirthdaypony.blogspot.com opened my eyes to this)

I seem to be saying this quite often nowadays...Lose the Ego.

People aren't "Attacking" you or trying to hurt you. Even when they throw insults and putdowns our way, its simply a test. A test to see if you really are who you claim/seem to be. They aren't attacking "you" per se, they're attacking your "image," your ego.

And to change someones perception of you is as easy as remolding playdo. They say "Fuck you!" You say "Here? Now? Nah, we just met. We should really get to know each other better before we do things like that." Bham! Instantly, their view towards you shifts 180 degrees.

Its not so much what happens that matters, its how you look at it and how you react to it that matters the most.

Not many things are certain in life, but guess what? Looking and reacting at things positively will GUARENTEE, 100% that you will be more charming, Happier and Healthier.

So what are you waiting for? Smile!

Passion

2006-08-17T23:43:00.000+08:00

Passion isn't the spice of life- it IS life!

Buddhism abhors Desire and therefore, many Buddhist monks try to eliminate passion as well. I believe this is a mistake.

Passion does not translate into desire (although it can). Passion means Love, Emotion and Enthusiasm. When I play tennis, I am Passionate about it. I give every shot my best, and put all my energy into it. However, I can do this without any desire to WIN the game.

I am merely playing tennis for the sake of playing tennis. I am not after some goal (e.g. winning), which would mean desire.

My coach said to me:

"We put in 100% not to beat the opponent. We do it because its more fun."

Passion is Fun. Life is Fun!

New Name

2006-08-15T15:58:00.000+08:00

I changed the Name of my blog...Soapz Does Zen!

Being Nice

2006-08-15T15:27:00.000+08:00

Why do we enjoy doing nice things for others? We give compliments, help pick up dropped groceries, and give directions when people are lost.

We're such a loving bunch! =D

But alas, even seemingly altruistic behaviour can have two faces. Although the act itself will benefit others regardless, one form of "helping" will eat away at your soul.

I like to call it "Ego-Helping"- when we help others to feed our ego's.

When the old lady drops her oranges, we pick them up for her. Why? If we're motivated by the ego, we want to help so we do not appear as selfish, unhelpful misers. We want to uphold our "image." Sometimes, we even want to help not to persuade OTHERS we're nice and friendly, but to persuade OURSELVES that we are indeed altruistic and loving.

Admittedly, this is better than not helping at all- after all, the old lady DID get her oranges back. But for true personal freedom and transformation, to truly achieve great acts of selflessness, we must not be motivated by the ego. We must be motivated by Love.

What is love? To me, it is the true Burning inner desire to see others happier and more joyful. It is the satisfaction and feeling of Joy when we see a another person happier due to your act of kindness.

To put it metaphorically:

"Be motivated not by the smile of your ego, but by the smiles on those around you."

Hahaha

2006-08-09T21:29:00.001+08:00

Its always nice to look back at the "you" that you used to be.

The "you" that decided buying the polka dotted shirt would be fashionable. Or the "you" that decided being a plumber would be better than being a lawyer. Or, in my case, the "me" that decided making two blogs at once would be a good idea. =D

Luckily, I can chuckle about the past. But it does not feel as if I'm laughing at myself. No. It feels like I'm laughing at the little child asking silly questions. Its as if I'm laughing at a totally different person. "No, that can't be ME who made that mistake. It must've been SOMEONE else!"

And to be truthful, you would be right to think that! The "you" 2 years ago is not the same "you" that you are now! You've gained new experiences, fresh insights, more knowledge. In fact, the "you" a minute ago is not the same as the person reading this right now! The "you" 2 minutes ago hasn't yet read this post, and as a result, was less insightful (hehe).

The point is, you are constantly changing. You aren't a solid block of ice. Constantly shifting, constantly moving- Zen Masters would compare you to a flowing river instead. So, does it really make sense to "regret" things you've done in the past? NO! Because in a sense, it wasn't "You" that made the mistake, it was the "Old You."

Theres a Chinese saying that applies quite well to this situation:

"If only," and there would be no beggars.

"If only" I had bought stock XYZ on day 123, then I would be rich right now....

The trick is not to regret and whine, just simply to LEARN from your past self. But detach yourself from him/her. It wasn't you.

Because the only "You" that exists is the one that can act, think and feel Now.

Feelin' the Chi?

2006-05-05T21:01:00.000+08:00

The Vibe we project to the rest of the world...it's all that matters.

The atmosphere you create with your body, your voice and the expression on your face. It all contributes to your personal "Groove."

Its the energy that we have. It can't be seen with the eyes.- it has to be felt by the heart. It surrounds us like a bubble, with its own size, colour and opacity. Its a direct projection of our thoughts, feelings...and our spirit.

When we put it into perspective, nothing else really matters. You can talk jibberish with someone, but as long as you have a good vibe- a good energy- then you can't go wrong.

"If your vibe is right, then your game will be tight."

Fill your "bubble" with happiness, positivity and a love for life, and I guarentee, you've got 90% of it made.

The Importance of Sleep

2006-04-27T20:37:00.000+08:00

ZzzZZzZzZZzzz...

Wow. This week must've been the longest week I've ever experienced. I've been constantly tired and slightly blue (a word I use when I don't want to call myself "depresssed").

So, I've been thinking- WHY am I so depressed? Is it my family life? Is it because I'm bored at home? Have I lost my purpose in life?

NO! I'm simply not getting my share of sleep! Here I am, thinking happiness is a choice, how your beliefs and mindset moulds your life...and I'm experiencing mild depression simply due to inadequate sleep!

Granted, I've started getting slightly more sleep for the last two days, so I'm starting to feel more "Alive," but I'm still behind schedule, sleep-wise.

My "self-honesty" experience/goal/experiment has been going quite well. I can feel some of the "artificial-ness" of my thoughts starting to melt away. It's a great feeling to finally throw off some of that extra baggage on my back.

*Breath of Freshness*

I'll continue with this for (hopefully) the rest of my life? I'll have to see. But certainly, being honest with myself has been providing me with nothing but positivity.

I'm finally learning to Accept myself!!! =D

LIES!!!

2006-04-25T19:51:00.000+08:00

Oh my God...ArG!

Lies! Everywhere in my life! Lying to others is bad enough, but the worst thing you can do is lie to yourself.

"I'm okay...I LOVE myself...my life is fine...my education is fine...absolutely nothing is wrong with my life..."

After reading "How to raise your self-esteem" by Nathaniel Branden, I have become aware of the lies I tell- to myself!

Theres a difference between self affirmation ("what you think is what you get") and Reality. Just because you say to yourself "Yeah, my life is good," it doesn't mean your life will instantly improve. Instead, it is BELIEVING that your life is good that will improve your life.

Face the TRUTH! It is not a problem to have and accept your flaws. It is only a problem when we ignore and fight against them. We have to start accepting our flaw somewhere. Example from Branden:

If you can't accept the fact that your always angry...then accept it that you can't accept the fact that your are angry.

Acceptance is the first step towards improvement and (spiritual) growth. Denial and ignorance only serves to feed the problem.

Thus, my goal for this week is so: "Accept EVERYTHING in the next 3 days. Look for truth, not lies disguised as "affirmations." Be a scientist on the lookout for facts and reality. And ultimately, accept reality and make peace with yourself, and the universe."

I feel like Columbus

2006-04-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

Haha, slightly irritated. Sorta like Columbus...

"But I discovered America!"

No you didn't...the Native Indians did!

Similarly, I was developing my very own self-help theory with all the terminology and explanations. I felt I was finally getting somewhere in my quest of self-discovery and was hoping to publish a bestselling softback that would reach New York Times or something equally prestigious. Then, I picked up Nathaniel Brandon's books on self-esteem, and saw my ideas in print- written 18 years ago!

sigh... some other time maybe =D

Dr. Who?

2006-04-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

"The Greatest Mystery in Life is who we truly are."

And according to some (Viktor Frankl comes to mind), finding out WHO is we are is the reason WHY we're all here.

Who am I? Such a difficult question with so many interpretations.

"I am Soapz"
"I am a student"
"I am Asian"
"I am Confident"
"I am a Pianist"

And yet, it doesn't answer the question of WHO I am.

"Just be yourself!" is often the advice given to nervous friends before a date or interview. But what the FUCK does "being yourself" mean? What is "yourself?" WHO is "yourself?"

Maybe it doesn't really matter. "We" are constantly chaging and evolving anyways. I am not the same person I was 2 years ago (and not just because of the extra knowledge I have or the new situation I'm in right now).

That voice in my head...is that "me" speaking? I am so confused now. I really am.

Maybe (just MAYBE), "just be yourself" doesn't really have anything to do with personality. Maybe Just be yourself means...living without fears. Uninhibited by self-limiting beliefs or social-constructs.

Just be yourself means living as if there was no tomorrow. As if you had nothing to lose. As if you had a remote, to "rewind" your life if you screwed up.

Just be yourself means being free.

Am I being myself now?

Mental Cancer

2006-04-20T18:14:00.000+08:00

Its like a disease. A mental/psychological disease...

Procratination

Millions are affected throughout the world. The most severly affected are young-adults as they struggle against the battle that is revision and exams.

"Associate things you want to be motivated for to positive feelings. Meanwhile, dissociate the positive feelings from activities that are involved in procrastination."

Problem is, I'm SO deep into procrastination that I can't even be motivated to associate and dissociate myself from those feelings. I'm SO lazy. that I can't be bothered to cure myself from laziness.

Meanwhile...I'm mentally masturbating here. Ejaculating all my precious brainpower away into nothingingness.

The rewards of revision is too far away and in some ways...too few. Do I really care about getting good grades? Sure...to some extent, I do. But mostly, its just the desires of those around me (parents, teachers, society) projected onto my soul.

We must seperate what society wants from us, and what we TRULY want.

I want happiness and social-wealth (friends, acquaintences, lovers). Can getting into Oxford or Cambridge or whatever prestigous university help me achieve that?

Maybe...maybe not...we won't know until I get there.

But really, I can think of about 10 million better ways to achieve happiness and social-wealth than getting into a good university.

Theres a price to pay for everything. I'm not sure if my desire is great enough to want to pay the price of getting into a "prestigous" university.

But hey, what do I know... if half the world wants to get into Oxbridge, then they must know something I don't.

right?

The Hunger

2006-04-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

We all want to be loved. That is law eternal.

Whether to be loved by Family,
by Friends,
by Lovers,
by Ourselves,
by God...we all want to be loved.

Similarly, we all want food. Whether it is in the form of steak, crisps, apples or rice. We all NEED food. Do we NEED love? On the most basic level, it seems like we don't. Love is just a "concept"... an intangible quality. Food on the otherhand is physical, quantifiable, and is very real. But we all know otherwise. No one can survive on a diet of physical food alone. We also need psychological/spiritual sustenance- Love.

It seems very unfair. People who are loved are (for the most part) confident about it and therefore, won't be seeking and fishing for more attention. This in turn...attracts even more love and attention to them. The cycle continues...

On the other hand, people who don't get enough love will constantly be searching for more of it...they will seek approval and try to "force" others into loving them. This obviously will DECREASE the amount of love and attention they get. And the cycle continues....

Luckily for me, I'm more in the first category than in the second (thank you mom, dad, and friends throughout the years). But still, I too have a hunger for more love. More attention. More popularity. But because I am aware and consciuos of the "rule" I have just stated above...I know I cannot "fish" for more love. I know I must just let go and...be comfortable and un-needy.

Its ultimately a catch-22. If I want more love, I need to be un-needy. But if I were un-needy, I wouln't be wanting more love in the 1st place.

So in the end, the best way to live a life full of love is to be happy with whatever you have now. And truly CHERISH and ENJOY every single moment in life. And be thankful of each and every person that loves you. Once you are happy with what you have now, you cannot lose. You either keep what you have and stay happy. Or you Gain more (which you WILL!), and be..even HAPPIER!

Honesty

2006-04-18T19:18:00.001+08:00

We're all liars. All of us.

On the surface, we have verbal lies. "No, your butt looks FINE in those jeans."

Thats the level of lying most people associate with and think of. Whether we should verbally lie?...I shall pass no judgement on that. Classic example: A murderer asks you which direction his prey went. Would you lie?

A situation like that enters into the realms of philosophy- and I'm not risking my sanity to take a step into that world.

But think deeper...we have more than just verbal lies. We have behavioural lies. Are you REALLY that concerned with the religious clashing's of christianity and jews? Or are you just pretending so that you can impress your Rabbi Uncle.

Are you REALLY a loud, extroverted socialite, or are you trying to show off to your date? Are you merely lying to your date via your beahaviours?

We also frequently lie about our intentions. You're talking to a hot girl- you really like her and all you can think about is the fantasy of a makeout session in adark corner of the bar. And yet, you pretend you have no interest in her:

Girl: "So, erm...nice music in here eh?"
You: *Grunts* "Ya" (And you proceed to turn around, pretending you have no interest in this person).

STOP LYING! Stop trying to MISLEAD people by LYING about your intentions. Stop MANIPULATING peoples perception of you by LYING about your behaviour.

Just tell the truth, and BE the truth. You may end up with less friends, you may end up getting fired, you may end up losing your girlfriend, but at least you'll have spiritual/emotional integetrity. And thats whats most important in the end.

And besides...who doesn't like an honest fellow? =D

I believe...

2006-04-17T19:50:00.000+08:00

What are beliefs?

Beliefs: What the mind thinks of as being "True." (On the subconscious level)

How can we change our beliefs?

See opposing evidence for our beliefs- FORCE it to change via physical proof.
Consciously plant "seeds" of belief- Affirmations and Visualisation.
Change your point of view- Frame changes, perspective changes, scope of focus, change of definition. (e.g. If your beliefs are "she has higher value than me," find out where its coming from. Maybe what you REALLY mean is "she has higher value than me- in terms of looks/beauty." Change your perspective- "I have higher value than her- in terms of personality/money/influence/happiness/etc.)
Fake it- Act AS IF you had the belief and change your behavior accordingly. (e.g. If you want to believe you are an "Alpha Male," simply stand tall, take up more space, walk with more authority, etc.)
Take away the power of a belief- accept that beliefs are a crap way of understanding the world (since it is blinded by perception and emotions). And therefore, not have the belief at all. (e.g. "He is a better tennis player than me." What constitutes a "good" tennis player? Even if he wins the match, it doesn't mean he's a better player than me- it could have been luck, condition of players or even the wind. The idea of a "better" tennis player is absurd. Let's not judge who is the "better" player and have fun!)

Let the world love YOU

2006-04-16T16:22:00.000+08:00

Anne: "I love you Ben"

...no she doesn't. Anne doesn't love Ben. No, she loves the FAKE Ben. The person Ben TRIES to be.
And thats whats so sad about the world. We have people dating, marrying, f*cking complete total STRANGERS. Most of these people have never even SEEN the REAL side of their partners.

"Do you want your girlfriend, your mates, the WORLD to love the real YOU, or to love the false-assed mask you put on to ensure social approval?"

Just take off the mask. Let people love the real you. It's been a while since people have seen a real human face. Let them watch you in awe and envy. And remember to smile =D

Trapped in the walls of intellect

2006-04-15T15:24:00.000+08:00

"Paralysis by Analysis"

Some things cannot be consciously "thought" out. If a golfer tried to consciously attend to and pay attention to every part of his swing, he is doomed for failure.

Instead, they should just let go, and swing in one fluid motion- let his subconscious do the "thinking" for him. Blink.

The concept of "flow," being "in the zone," or witnessing the "unfolding" is not new. But the question is, HOW can be be in the zone and truly flow...

When Fun is the focus. When we have confidence in the moment. When we truly come to our sense and enjoy every second of the present.

Stop thinking. Stop analysing. Stop planning. And start Living.

Close your eyes, take a deep comfortable breath and smile. Smile a calm smile down into your heart. Are you in flow?

The meaning of

2006-04-14T21:27:00.000+08:00

Back to the basics.

Why am I here? Why do I get out of bed every morning? Why do I go to school?

Why do I chat with friends? Why do I spend time with my girlfriend? Why do I do community service?

Happiness. It all boils down to happiness. Or, more accurately, "the experience of pleasant emotions/feelings."

Supposedly, I wouldn't do anything if it resulted in me being unhappy. I would stop doing something if I it led me to experience discomfort or pain.

And yet, everyday, millions (billions?) of people worldwide are putting THEMSELVES into discomfort and pain. Why?

Perhaps maybe we believe the pain is temperary and is merely a price to pay in order to experience happiness later on...

We are not perfect choice makers

We do not fully know the costs/benefits of our choices and actions. We suffer from information problems, blindness, habits and sometimes, a lack of vision for life and existance.

Happiness is key! It is the single driving factor for life and our existence as mankind.

"You can tell a lot about a man by how he acquires his happiness."